I Love Breastfeeding...NOT!

I'm not going to say that I hate breastfeeding but I will say that I thoroughly do not enjoy it. Some of the many reasons are because it is still painful after a month, he still has trouble latching on, I still have to supplement him even if he nurses well, I feel tied down, I worry about if what I am eating is upsetting his tummy, he poos so much that he already had his first diaper rash. Here's the reasons to keep going...it's good for him...that's about it. I wonder what is wrong with me. All of my friends are so into it and talk about how much of a bonding experience it is and how they will be so sad when they have to stop. I didn't have that bonding experience. Don't get me wrong, I am very bonded to Caleb but it certainly isn't because of breastfeeding. So after a lot of stress, tears, and going back and forth about stopping, I decided to stop for my sanity. I lasted for one month which is about one month longer than I lasted with Ethan. Right now I'm still miserable because I'm so engorged and feel like I got a boob job. Mondo assures me that a boob job would be more painful but obvoiusly he doesn't know that pain I'm in. Everytime I start to wonder if I should try to breastfeed again or feel guilty for stopping I pray for peace about the whole situation and so far it's working. I've shed enough tears and felt enough guilt. It's time to move on. Caleb doesn't care what milk he drinks or where it comes from as long as he gets some type of food every 2-3 hours!