NICU Stuff

Just taking a little break from my normal blogging to post this gem. And yes, unless you are a NICU nurse you won't get most of this. :-)

You might be a NICU nurse if...

*You scrub your hands like a surgeon

*You measure age, not in years, but in weeks and adjusted weeks.

*You plan your day in 3 hour increments.

*You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the phrase, "wow, it is really quiet" is uttered.

*Finding poop in a diaper makes you cheer because you are obsessed with NEC and suspicious all your babies have it.

*You like to give glycerine suppositories out like candy- (for same reason above).

*You recognize that feeding tubes can be time-savers.

*You hear 4 or 5 different types of all-to-familiar beeping in your sleep.

*You recognize that taping is an art-form.

*The admission of a 28 week antepartum patient makes you antsy.

*You could describe poop about a dozen different ways…(eg. Meconium, transitional, green, yellow, yellow-seedy, brown…)

*The IV team won’t come to your unit… YOU are the master.

*You measure weight in grams, and kilos

*You know that kangarooing has nothing to do with kangaroos.

*You know that “Feeder-Grower” isn’t a description of a lawn care product.

*You’ve ever referred to a baby as a ‘glow worm’.

*You’ve ever cried at the discharge of a patient, because they felt more like family.

*You take pride in making up a “cute” bed for your patient.

*You believe: if the baby is quiet, be scared.

*You’re patients don’t use a call bell when they need you- instead an orchestra of 3 or more alarms of different tones get your attention.

*You’ve witnessed a preemie escape mission…they made it as far as the portholes.

*You refer to sweet-ease as ‘a shot of happiness’.